(lol)Blaine at NYADA
by J.W.Melmoth
Summary: Set a few weeks after Blaine starts NYADA. Blaine was never very good at dressing himself. Or resisting temption. NOT KLAINE-FRIENDLY.


**THIS FIC IS NOT KLAINE-FRIENDLY.**

* * *

"Kurt, have you seen my bowtie? The lilac one with the yellow polka dots?"

"No, sorry. And we're running late. Let's just go, okay?" Kurt glanced at Blaine's outfit and was secretly glad the horrible tie was gone. The ensemble was bad enough as it was. Blaine simply refused to accept any help with his wardrobe. Kurt had hoped that he'd see reason now that he had started a new school, but getting accepted to NYADA had somehow convinced Blaine he could do no wrong. Not even in orange.

As they arrived at NYADA, Blaine still sulking a little, classes were about to start and the halls were bustling with students. Strangely enough, when the other students saw them, they parted like the red sea to make way. Kurt looked at Blaine. They had never done this for Kurt. Was it really Blaine's magical Warbler charm that was doing this? But Blaine looked as confused as he did, and then Kurt noticed some of the students pointing and sniggering. One or two laughed openly and made rude gestures at him. A girl wriggled her pinkie finger in a strange salute.

"What's going on?" Blaine asked, turning to look at Kurt.

"I have no idea. Just ignore them. My first weeks here were hard, too."

"Hummel. A word."

Kurt froze. He knew that voice. He turned to see the small blonde woman peeking her head out of her dance room to look at him.

"Miss July, I have a class…" he said, but she cut him off.

"I don't care. Get in here." As the both of them started forward, she lifted her hand and pointed her dance cane at Blaine. "Not you, bowtie boy. This is an adult talk."

Kurt glanced at Blaine and quickly offered him an apologetic shrug before stepping into the dance classroom. Miss July closed the doors behind them. Kurt gulped. What was this about? Was she flunking him?

"Hummel. Over the past months I noticed you wearing that ring in your finger," Cassandra July started, circling him with graceful steps, punctuating her words with taps of her cane against the springy wooden floor. "I assumed you were getting hitched to that theatre senior with the misfits club, whatshisname. From the island."

"Adam Crawford," Kurt said quietly, his ex-boyfriend's name feeling heavy on his tongue.

"Correct. Mediocre dancer but good enough to pass my class, which is more than I can say from 40% of my first year students."

She looked out of the tall windows.

"Then a few weeks ago, I had the displeasure of meeting your duck-footed fiancé in my classroom. I have say, you traded down, and I'm not just talking length here."

Kurt waited, not sure where she was going with this. Surely she hadn't called him in here just to express her disapproval of Blaine?

"Even so, students' private lives are none of my business," she continued, confirming Kurt's assumption, "unless I find their circumstances may become problematic to their education." She turned back to face Kurt.

Kurt's heart sank.

Cassandra July walked up to him, looked into his eyes, and then passed him to take something out of her bag. "I confiscated this ipad yesterday after half my class kept looking at it. I don't tolerate that when I am teaching." She activated the screen. "As you probably know, every institution has their own…traditions to welcoming new students. Some less savoury than others. A lot of it includes drinking, dares and sex. NYADA is no exception."

"Okay?" Kurt mumbled. He didn't know about this, but then he had started in the middle of the academic year.

"Apparently, this year's shenanigans were shared through social media yesterday. I think you should take a look at this." She held out the ipad.

Kurt frowned and took it. A facebook page was opened in the browser, called "Pin the Freshers". Their description boasted "photographic evidence of all new available NYADA booty" including a 'rating' that described act, how 'easy' it was to get said act from them, and if they'd do them again. Kurt got a bad feeling about this. He scrolled down. The 'evidence' turned out to be 'trophies' gathered from the freshmen rather than actual pictures, which would make identifying- and thus incriminating the persons involved- much harder, unless… you were the only person in the entire school with such a wardrobe choice. The newest entries were some bras and panties, but Kurt got a sinking feeling that was not what Miss July had seen yesterday. He reached the first posts and swallowed. There were several, and each of them had a picture of a bowtie. The descriptions were horrid, but he read them anyway.

_Pinned: mouth  
Accessibility: 8/10  
Skill: 3/10  
Comments: sloppy, boring. Started crying right after, guilt-tripping.  
Pin again: no way  
Overall score: 3/10_

Attached was a picture of Blaine's polka dot tie. It had 4 likes and a few comments sympathising, and one agreeing.

_Pinned: hand  
Accessibility: 10/10  
Skill: 6/10  
Comments: was looking for someone to top me, but he was all bravura and no peen. We're talking baby carrot here. Ended up giving him one of my toys instead, which he used to mildly satisfying effect.  
Pin again: when in dire need maybe, got his number  
Overall score: 6_

Kurt stared at the fringed oceanblue tie Blaine said he had forgot to take with him from Ohio. (15 likes) He scrolled down. More ties. More likes. Just how many people had Blaine hooked up with in his first week? The last one nearly made him sick.  
_  
Pinned: ass  
Accessibility: 9/10  
Skill: 8/10  
Comments: fucking tight, ok with barebacking, very vocal (recommend gag or empty dorm)  
Pin again: HELL YEAH  
Overall score: 9/10_

The picture showed the bowtie Kurt had bought for Blaine to celebrate their engagement. It was pure silk and had cost over 70 dollars.

"I'm sorry," Miss July said from behind him. She sounded genuine. "I thought you should know."

"Thank you," Kurt replied hoarsely, handing her back the ipad.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked.

Kurt swallowed. "I will help Blaine file a complaint to get the page taken down. When that's done, I will ask him to move out, and I will get myself tested for STDs."


End file.
